


Scirallisteremalydia

by LoveCas98



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Orgy, Parody, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveCas98/pseuds/LoveCas98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Scott and Kira are having a hot, sexy night, in walks Stiles to watch.  Soon, Malia and Lydia join the party as well.  As Derek watches in the corner, a mysterious and horny ghost appears to get in on all the action too.  Get ready for the hottest* seven-way action your eyes have ever seen!  I hope you get as aroused reading it as I did writing it!<br/>*Please note - the author does not necessary know what the word "hottest" means as English is his first language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scirallisteremalydia

**SCIRALLISTEREMALYDIA**

            Scott was so excited for tonite. Kira was coming over soon and they were going to do things… naked things… Scott had dreamed about this nite his entire life. Even when he was with Allison he dreamed about this one nite with Kira. Scott missed Allison. It was too bad her dad sent her away to that farm to live with another family.

            Scott started preparing the room. He sprayed Febreze over everything so it smelled like he just did laundry even though he never did and his socks stood up on their own. Then he threw rose petals on the bed. “Oh, crap!” Scott exclaimed! “Those aren’t rose petals! I have to get rid of the evidence!” Scott frantically sprayed them with Febreze or something and then I don’t remember what happened.

            Scott waited for an hour and two minutes because without those extra two minutes of commercials, MTV would go bankrupt. All of a sudden Kira kicked down the door and ripped off her shirt! She screamed, “Let’s get ready to rumble!” Scott stared intently at her vagina.

            Kira walked over to Scott, her hips swaying back and forth like the wind before a storm, her eyes like the deep brown sea before a storm, her beauty incomparable, comparable only to a gorgeous Clinique model from a 2010 campaign, her skin so soft like the waves before a storm, and also her boobs were all like, “Damn, girl!” She slowly began to unbutton her shirt. Scott couldn’t wait to see all of her chest balloons. He loved her breasts so much because they looked just like his mom’s. Kira slowly started to unbutton her shirt. With every button that was unbuttoned, Scott could see a little bit more skin. Why was her chest so hairy? Then he realized he was looking at his own chest. He looked up at Kira. Much better.

            Kira unbuttoned her shirt one button at a time. Without warning, Scott could see her bra. Boing! Scott started jumping up and down on the bed with excitement. Boing! Boing! Boing! Do you know what’s under bras? Do you? Scott sure didn’t. He had always wondered. But tonite he was going to find out. Unless…

            Suddenly Stiles burst in the room. “Scott!” he yelled. “We have to solve the mystery! Do you have any red yarn I can borrow?” Oh, Stiles. He always showed up right when things were gettin’ good!

Scott and Stiles stared into each other’s eyes. They each remembered that one special moment from years ago that they both shared together, but never told anyone. It was a clear moonlit night – the sky looked like the sea before a storm. It was raining and they were both soaked to the bone. They were so cold and they needed to warm up before they got really cold. They looked at each other and could tell they each yearned for the same thing. They had both wanted this for so long, but neither had the courage to tell the other. Stiles began to speak, but he could tell by Scott’s eyes that there was no need for words. They both wanted… no, needed the same thing. The desire welled up inside them so powerful it was about to burst, much like the sea before a storm. Their bodies were cold and wet, their desire hot and dry. It was finally time for Scott and Stiles to give into their primal urges and let nature take its course. Without wasting a moment their clothes were gone. Soon, their needs would be fully satisfied. They knew they could never talk about this – no one would understand. How could they? Before long, warmth began to once again course through their veins. They had passed the point of no return. It seemed like their whole lives had led up to this one singular moment.

            Then Scott picked up the phone and called Stiles. “Did you put your clothes in the dryer, too?” he asked.

            “Yeah,” Stiles replied. And then I curled up in the warmest blanket ever.” Stiles was so cozy right now.

            “Me, too!” Scott exclaimed. “It’s almost like my whole life has led up to this one singular moment.” Now that Scott was wrapped up in the warmest blanket ever, he completely forgot what it was like to be cold and wet now that he was all hot and dry. “But, Stiles,” Scott began. “I’m naked under this blanket. My junk’s rubbing all over the fabric! If anyone were to find out, they wouldn’t want to use this blanket because they’d think it was gross that my butt touched it. Also I farted in it a lot.”

            “Then we must never tell anyone,” Stiles replied. And they never did. Then they gave each other the greatest high five the world had ever seen.

            As their flashback faded, Stiles realized he had just walked in on Scott and Kira doing adult stuff. He looked over and realized he could see Kira’s bra. “Woah!” Stiles exclaimed erotically. “That bra looks so much sexier than mine… I mean… err… it looks sexier than Malia’s bra… yeah…” _Whew_. _Nice save,_ Stiles thought. _That was a close one._ Not wanting to be a third wheel in Scott and Kira’s sexcapades, Stiles retreated to a corner of the room and sat down to watch. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kira smile as she realized she now had an audience. Kira Yukimura? More like Kira Yukivoyeur!

            Kira slowly began to unbutton her shirt.

            “No, too sexy!” Scott screamed.

            Kira replied, “But I must!” She began to unbutton her shirt until both her chesticles were exposed.

            “Looks like I showed up just in time!” came a familiar voice from a couple blocks away. After a short walk and a quick stop-off for a Squishee from the local Kwik-e-Mart, Malia came in the room. She was dressed head to toe in the sexiest lingerie this side of the Mississippi. Her alligator-skin nighty hung loosely over her thick, wool bra and Hello Kitty underwear with the name “Stiles Stilinski” written in tiny letters on the back tag in case they got lost while away at camp. Her sexy silk leggings hung loosely over her shoulder because she forgot to put them on. She wore a tank top that said “Juicy on the front” on the front and booty shorts that said “Levi” on the bag. Stiles stared intently at her butt and saw her hot pink thong sticking out of her jeans. Stiles reached his hand out to undo the laces on her bodice but pulled them back, shyly. She wore a transparent robe colored opaque black. Kira licked her lips as she watched Malia brush the robe aside to reveal the lacrosse jersey with the number 69 she wore underneath. Her legs were bare, with just knee-high socks running up well past her knees. She wore six-inch heels that gave her an extra three inches in height. Scott drooled as his eyes stared at her fishnet stockings and up to short, black mini shirt above them. Malia undid her tie and threw it to the ground. As she slowly began to unbutton her shirt she began to speak. “Looks like I showed up just in time!” she said.

            Malia walked over to Kira and started unbuttoning her shirt. She tilted her head over to Stiles and beckoned him over. Stiles rose from his chair but sat down quickly, embarrassed by his boner. Kira reached out and took Scott by the hand as Malia sexily demanded Stiles get over here at once or she would beat the crap out of him. Scott and Stiles approached the two girls. Unable to contain his excitement, Scott tooted a little. It smelled erotic. All four started groping at each other. Scott accidentally touched Kira’s butt. _Oh, no!_ Scott thought. _She probably hated that. I’m so embarrassed._ But Kira actually didn’t hate it. Instead, she shoved Scott down on the bed and stuck her tongue down his throat. They starting Frenching and it was really hot. Scott touched her butt again as Kira touched his. _Woah,_ Scott thought to himself. _I can’t believe we just had sex by touching each other’s butts. I can’t wait to tell Kira!_

            Scott looked deep into Kira’s eyes. When he looked into her deep browns, Scott realized how strong his feelings truly were for this beautiful woman. He cared for her so much it didn’t even matter that they were mixing the races.

            “Scott!” Stiles exclaimed. “That’s racist!”

            “Oh, sorry,” Scott said embarrassed. He was so embarrassed.

            Scott turned his attention back to Kira. He gently brushed her hair away from her eyes. He caressed her cheek and she smiled. Her smile was so beautiful, like the sea before a storm. Leaning forward he whispered softly in her ear, “I love you, Arden.” Suddenly, Kira started melting and fading away. “Oh, no!” Scott screamed. “I broke the forth wall! Nooooo! I take it back! Rewind! Rewind!”

            Scott turned his attention back to Kira. He gently brushed her hair away from her eyes. He caressed her cheek and she smiled. Her smile was so beautiful, like the sea after a storm. Leaning forward he whispered softly in her ear, “I love you…” Scott paused for a second. “…Kira…”

            “Oh, Scott,” Kira replied. “I love me, too.” Then they kissed so passionately it was like the sea before a storm – really, really wet with liquids flying everywhere.

            Stiles watched Scott and Kira go at it. They were so sweet and romantic. Stiles wished nothing but the best for the two young lovers. A tender smile crept up on Stiles’ face as Malia continued to go to town on him. Stiles closed his eyes and starting thinking about soup. He began to feel soft hair rain down on his head. As he opened his eyes he saw Lydia hanging upside down from the ceiling in the rain. Stiles pulled her mask down and they kissed passionately in the most original and non-plagiarized kiss of all time. Malia looked up and Stiles noticed she was jealous. So he brought Malia’s lips close to his, pulled down her mask and kissed her gently. Jealous, Lydia grabbed Stiles’ head and kissed him again. Then Malia brought Stiles back to her mouth and kissed him again, this time with her tongue. Realizing their jealousy wasn’t getting them anywhere, Malia and Lydia decided to make up by making out. Stiles backed up a bit to watch this tender display of girl-on-girl action. Stiles had read about this in books but had never actually seen two girls together because he didn’t know how to use the internet. Stiles backed away watching intently as the two girls really started getting into it confirming what Stiles believed all along – that all girls are secretly lesbians, or at least bi-curious.

            As Stiles backed away, two tender hands embraced his him. “Careful, now,” said Derek. “We wouldn’t want you to fall.” Stiles turned to face the tall, dark, mysterious man known only as Derek Hale. He was also known as Mr. Hale, or just Derek. But don’t call him by any other name because he probably wouldn’t respond. Stiles looked up at Derek’s hard but tender eyes and his scruffy yet rough jaw. This was not the first time Stiles and Derek were together, but it would definitely be the last.

            “Derek?” Stiles asked. “Will we go on adventures like these forever?”

            “No, Stiles,” Derek replied. “Because I’m not even here.” And with that, Derek faded away like the memory he was. It was then Stiles realized that Derek had left at the end of season 4 and this entire story was all just a dream. Before he woke up, Stiles ripped off his pants and started streaking through the dimly-lit school. All the kids pointed and laughed. It was then Stiles realized that this wasn’t a dream at all and he really was naked and everyone could see his peen. Stiles was so embarrassed. He went back to Scott’s room and sat down to pout. Then he saw that Malia and Lydia were touching each other’s boobies and all his problems went away. Stiles watched and wished he was Lydia kissing Malia. Then he wished he was Malia kissing Lydia. Then he wished he was Scott kissing Lydia. Then he had a sandwich. Then he decided to join the girls. Stiles ripped off his shirt, threw his bra on the ground, and started licking everyone. They all screamed with delight.

            All the while, Derek stood in the corner… watching… waiting… masturbating…

            As the three twenty-something teenagers were making out, Kira tied Scott down to the bed and slowly unbuttoned her shirt. She traced her fingers down Scott’s mysteriously untattooed chest. As her hand reached lower and lower Scott closed his eyes, lost in the moment. An orgasmic smile burst onto Scott’s face as Kira tore off his pants and went to work. Harder and harder, faster and faster – Kira’s hands were like magic as they played with the excess skin on top of his knee. It felt so good that Scott’s eyes turned alpha red.

            His eyes still closed, he felt a gentle kiss on his lips. Scott returned the passionate kiss by shoving his tongue deep in her mouth. Their tongues caressed and embraced each other, each fighting for supremacy in this battle of love. Scott reached up to embrace his lover, but his hand passed right through her. Scott opened his werewolf eyes and saw the ghost of Allison floating above him, kissing him passionately. He ran his hand through here soft, brown hair and pulled her closer to him. Allison’s hand reached down to his no-no area. Her ghostly hand passed right through his dong and began massaging the muscle inside. Scott started yelling, “Humina, humina, humina!” This got the attention of Kira who was currently deep-throating Scott’s knee. She looked up, saw Allison, and got super hard.

            Kira started to kiss up the back of Allison’s leg. As she rose higher and higher, Allison began to quiver. Before she knew it, Kira’s nose was in Allison’s butt and she backed out quickly. Then Kira took Allison from behind and started to do doggy style on her. Allison moaned with pleasure. Unfortunately, Scott’s mom heard this. She ran up the stairs and pounded on Scott’s door.

            “What’s going on in there?” Melissa McCall screamed.

            “Nothing, mom! Jeez! Go away! Ugh!” Moms could be such pains sometime.

            Allison turned around and touched Kira in that special area that only girls know about and won’t tell boys. Kira orgasmed. Everybody cheered and shook her hand. This made Malia especially jealous. Since she had only been with Stiles before today, she had no idea what an orgasm felt like. Malia decided to stroll over to the bed to join Scott, Kira, and Allison while Stiles continued to try his best.

            Now, with three girls around him Scott was dripping wet. For the first time in his life he was having special time with more than just his right hand. Scott reached up and grabbed Kira's booby, although he kind of had trouble finding it. With his other hand he reached up and grabbed Allison's chest which felt like a beautiful pillow in his rough, wolf-like hand. With his other hand he reached out and grabbed a handful of Malia's jugs as well. With his other hand he reached down and grabbed his own chest, round and firm like a balloon. Seeing all the hot boob-grabbin' going on, Allison reached out her hands and grabbed a hold of Malia and Kira's chest. Not wanting to be left out, Malia grabbed Allison's Beacon Hill. After having a hard time finding it, she also felt up Kira's fun bag as well. They continued to give each other hot, sexy pleasure with their four-way fondling. All the while, Stiles continued to try his best.

            Lydia, sick of being on the sidelines, climbed to the top of a bookcase and leapt onto the pile of bodies. She started humping everyone in sight. Using her banshee powers, she screamed into Kira's lady parts and Kira had a wicked hot orgasm. It was wicked hot. Years from now she would tell her grandchildren about it. They do not enjoy the story.

            Malia wondered where Stiles was in all of this. She turned around and there he was still plugging away on her. It's so adorable how hard he tries. Stiles erotically grabbed all of Malia's erogenous zones and it was okay I guess. As Stiles humped and humped, Derek silently reached out and touched Stiles' butt. Stiles turned around and looked deep into Derek's eyes. Their eyes bled with yearning of their forbidden love. Derek looked at Stiles with his eyes as if to say, "I wish our love wasn't forbidden." Stiles looked at Derek as if to say, "It feels much nicer when you touch my butt than when I do it myself." Derek stuck his butt out towards Stiles, invitingly. Stiles reached out and touched Derek's soft but firm butt with his soft but firm fingers. Slowly Derek slid towards him. He pulled his pants down and Stiles and Derek touched their butts together. A surge of ecstasy coursed through their veins like the sea before a storm.

            Scott and Kira and Allison's ghost and Stiles and Malia and Lydia and Derek all kept fingering each other so hard. With her mouth, Kira sucked all of Scott's knee into her hot, sexy mouth. With his feet, Scott explored each and every curve of the crevices between Allison's toes. With her translucent hands, Allison delved deep inside Malia's body, all the way through her intestines all the way to her big butt cheeks. With her tongue, Malia started licking the neck of Stiles drawing a little blood because her tongue was rough like a coyote for some reason. With his nose, Stiles smelled Derek's butt to get information about his gender, emotional state, diet, and more.   With his legs, Derek was doing scissor style with Lydia as they rubbed their blurred areas against each other. With her screams, Lydia kept screaming into Kira's ears causing them to bleed with wasn't pleasurable at all. Surprising, Lydia turned out to be the least knowledgeable about sex. All at once, the seven of them screamed with orgasmic pleasure at the same time. Their bodies quivered causing the whole bed to shake since it was only designed to have six people having sex on it at once, not seven. They should have got a Posturepedic bed, but they couldn't afford it because they once had money trouble but then stole a bunch of money so they don't anymore. The bed springs rumbled like a sea before a storm as they collapsed on each other creating the sexiest pile of flesh ever conceived of in Beacon Hills, Mexico where they were all staying on vacation.

            As Scott stared deep into Kira's eyes who stared deep into Allison's eyes who stared deep into Malia's eyes who stared deep into Stiles' eyes who started deep into Derek's eyes who stared deep into Lydia's eyes who stared deep into Scott's eyes, they all let out one last pleasurable sigh. With fluids and genitals everywhere, they all embraced for they all knew that they would be friends forever and they would never ever be apart again. Then Derek turned into a wolf and left forever as Allison just faded away. But then they returned once more and they all gave each other the greatest high five the world had ever seen.


End file.
